My success story… 17 January 2017
How my journey began… Easter weekend 2014, I made the decision myself to pick my first drug after having seen it at a party the month before. I thought nothing of it at the time, it did not phase me in the least… or so I thought… i had no idea that my boyfriend at the time was using and was an addict, I was entirely naive to the whole thing. Until the day I said to him “I want to try it, how do we get it” his immediate response was “don’t worry I know” and immediately dialed the number. I then asked “how do you know?” again his response was “don’t worry I know everything”.
I still did not put two and two together but I did think that it was very convenient that he knew who to call and where to go. So we did what we had to do and got back to the house. I looked at the bag; I looked at him and said with a confused look on my face “how do you do this? What do you do?” he looked at me and said once again “don’t worry I know. I’ll show you”. Still not putting two and two together. He took the plate out of the kitchen cupboard and proceeded to do what he needed to.
That night I had my very first line. I loved it. I loved the feeling. I loved the taste of it and just wanted more. At that stage I kept telling myself I would not get addicted I’m not like that I will be able to control it and control myself. Or so I thought. My using gradually progressed, but within a couple of months I started spiralling, spiralling down into a deep and very dark whole. Within the first three months of my using (which I thought I had under control) I lost my first job, the best job that I had to date. I then started a new job a month or two later which lasted not even four months (I still thought I had everything under control.)
I slowly but surely started losing everything and everyone close to me, pushing them all further and further away so that I could use without having to answer to anyone or to take responsibility for anything. I hit rock bottom very quickly but I kept thinking that I am ok, I do not have a problem and I would get back up, only to hit rock bottom again. This carried on for two and a half years. In those two and a half years I lost EVERYTHING and even got thrown out of my townhouse by the rental agencies and also became blacklisted. That is only the tip of the iceberg of how I lost myself, my dignity, my soul and everything you could think of.
I broke down completely in my dad’s arms in July. I still remember the words I said to him that Tuesday afternoon “I’m tired, I’m done, I can’t anymore.” Needless to say I ended up at CHANGES Treatment Centre, ten days later on the 30 July 2016. My very first treatment centre ever, the one place that I thought I would never ever end up in (because I did not have a problem… apparently) but I’ll be dead honest, that was the best decision I made and that my dad made for me as well. That day and I went in without a fight, I was done, broken entirely, I had nothing left and was nothing anymore. But that all changed during my primary treatment at CHANGES Inpatient Centre and now still experiencing changes whilst in my secondary and tertiary care treatment.
I have learned so much about whom and what I am as a person, my morals, my values, everything and every day I am still learning. CHANGES gave me my life back. I was treated with respect and dignity. I was valued and learned so much about myself and my disease. I moved into CHANGES Halfway House and am still living there. I have never been more grateful that what I am today for my dad, his patience, his love, support and more… and the same goes for my mom as well. My life is slowly but surely falling back together, the way that I want it, the way that God wants it.
Yes every day is still a struggle, but just for today I am clean, I am sober, I am safe, I am blessed, I am grateful, I am loved and I am alive!!! I am living the miracle of sobriety. CHANGES told me to “not leave until my miracle happens” and that’s exactly what is happening. My sobriety is a miracle. Thank you Dad and Thank you to everyone at CHANGES. I love being clean and laughing from the bottom of my belly.
Amazingly grateful addict. xxx